Home is With You
by Cloud Zen
Summary: ON HIATUS - AU CloTi- In the FFVII World, Cloud encounters Tifa again after a chance meeting five years ago. Everything is going well until Cloud's past returns to haunt them both.
1. Reunion

Chapter 1

_These streets sure have seen better days_, he thought to himself. Almost five long years had passed since Cloud walked the streets of Midgar, on or beneath the plate. He had left in hopes of a better life, away from the fighting, the bloodshed, and the death. People died everyday in Midgar, murder wasn't anything special. It was on television every night. The powerful could make anyone disappear, never staining their already filthy hands. They used people like Cloud, or at least the kind of people that Cloud used to be.

He had walked away from that life after knowing little other that it. Sure it paid well, but was one life really worth only a small sum of gil? Cloud had slain many men, some for a few thousand, just enough to put food on the table, others for a few million, enough to buy a luxurious house in Costa del Sol. He used to be one of the best, him with his massive sword, but he never enjoyed it. In fact, he flat out hated the business. Being a mercenary was not the glamorous life he had imagined.

The perks were nice once in a while, being a bodyguard for some drop dead gorgeous woman, being around her twenty-four hours a day, but when the reason he was hired came around, and blood was shed, he vowed again and again never to do it again. He kept breaking those vows however, when he found he had no marketable skills except swordplay and the other option was starving to death. _Maybe one day I'll actually be able to leave this sword behind me. Maybe when hell freezes over._

Cloud walked though the dirt and filth that was the slums. He spent many years here, amassing a fortune, thinking that one day, when he had enough money, he would be able to leave and never return. He had a bank account with money rivaling the old families that lived on top of the plate, but knowing that they would never accept him, he left Midgar.

Cloud stopped in the middle of the street. "Son of a . . ." it was still there, the one place that had made him realize there was more to life than blood and money. Ironically, a place where sins dwell had made him see something, maybe "the light" or maybe something else, but definitely something new.

"Tifa's Seventh Heaven . . ." he said out loud. An elderly man nearby responded to his aimless voice with a laugh.

"You act like you just saw the first bar in your life, young man." Cloud looked at the man. "That bar is possibly the most prosperous business underneath the plate. That young girl that owns it started working miracles with it about five years ago and now every man, woman, and child in the city knows of it.

"Young girl? You wouldn't happen to know her name would you?"

The elderly man laughed, "Can't you read, boy? That's her on the sign right there."

Cloud looked back at the bar's front. _Could it really still be her? Could she still be there?_ Cloud's mind was asking question after question, a hopeful look on his face. "Tifa . . . are you still here?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------

_Another busy night,_ she thought to herself. _At least it pays the bills, plus a little, _she chuckled a little thinking of what he has said so many years ago. The man that had inspired her to keep the bar she had sold everything to buy. He had been her first customer ever. Just looking at him, his dark ambience, had almost made her want to close down and leave. He had ordered a drink, keeping to himself in the very seat a man was yelling at her from now.

"Hey! Give me another drink over here!" a man yelled from the far side of the bar. Tifa moaned to herself, "Thanks for ruining my daydream."

"Money first, Cid," she said as she wiped down the bar in front of him with a rag. "And before you ask, no you can't put it on your tab. You still owe me over 1,500 gil." Cid was a regular at her bar, so of course he had a tab. He also had a habit of forgetting about it when he was asking for another drink. At least he made good on it every month. Tifa was never sure how he managed to show up with his usual 8,000 gil at the end of the month to pay off his, but at least he was a good customer and behaved himself.

"But . . ." he started as she gave him a stern look. "Fine, here's your damn money" he spat as he threw another 100 gil across the bar for another drink.

"Thank you, Cid," she said with a smile as she pulled out the drink she had waiting for him. Tifa's mixed drinks may have been expensive, but they were the best in Midgar, on or under the plate. She never let any of her few employees mix them either, she never wanted to give out her secrets to anyone.

Tifa smiled to herself as she recalled that day five years ago when he walked into her bar, and her life. She would never admit to anyone, but she had at one time thought he was cute, once he let her into that cold, hard shell of his. He came back almost every night after that first one. He always said it was because her drinks were the best around, but she knew what it really was. She was good-looking. As long as she kept the place open, he would keep coming back, sitting in the same seat, ordering the same drink, always leaving her a tip at least the size of his bill, the only one to ever do so. He was the only reason she stayed in business those first few months. The money he left in tips the first month paid the rent for the next year. He was so generous and so kind to her even though he was always withdrawn and never spoke to anyone.

He started to speak to her aside from ordering a drink and wishing her well after the first week. He never spoke about his job, except for saying "At least it pays the bill, plus a little." She could never understand how he managed to give her so much money. He had no family since they died when he was only a child. To her, he still looked like a child, even though he claimed to be 21. She herself at the time was only 16, and he didn't look much older to her, even though the rumors she heard said he was anywhere between 20 and 40. After a month, she finally learned that he was only 16, even though he could beat up any man under the plate who made unwanted advances against Tifa. It was at the same time that she finally learned his name. She chuckled as she said, "I hope he's doing al- . . ." Tifa's words were interrupted as she heard a crash.

Cid had stumbled out of his chair talking to some woman, following her around like a little lost puppy. Tifa laughed to herself but had to stifle it. A man had taken Cid's seat at the bar and had laid 400 gil on the counter. She walked over still cleaning the glass in her hand. He looked like a new customer and the other girls knew that she served all of the new customers herself.

"Hi there, you must be new around here. I'm Tifa, the owner of this place. What can I get you?" It was her usual greeting, always said with a genuine smile. She had said it so many times that now she mixed the customary first free drink her bar was famous for as she said it. The young man looked up at her revealing shining blue eyes hidden beneath his spiky blonde hair. He looked so familiar, but she couldn't place it. She placed an inexpensive mixed drink in front of the young man.

He looked at the drink for a moment, and gazed back at Tifa. "Is this the most expensive drink you have?" There was no indignation in his voice like there was will all the other new customers, which was relieving, but it got her laughing like usual.

"No it isn't. That drink is on the house. All new customers get a free drink on their first visit." Every customer asked it, she just had to wait for it, and they always laughed and happily drank it after hearing the news. However, the young man before her didn't laugh, or even touch the drink for that matter. He looked at her with his bright blue eyes.

"I've heard that you are famous for your drink, 'Final Heaven.' I'd like one of those if you don't mind. This should cover it right?" he said holding up the two 200-gil bills. Tifa looked at him with surprise. Most new people had never heard of that drink. It was her pride and joy and she had told only a dozen people in five years the name of it. Everyone else knew it as the most expensive drink in the house. It was not a big secret but it was far too expensive for most people to want, so very few people even knew about it, much less its name.

"Um, yeah, sure. I'll fix you one right now. By the way, how did you hear about that drink, that is, if you don't mind me asking?" Tifa couldn't help but wonder how this young man had learned the name of that drink.

"I heard it from a young man about five years ago. Said he used to come here every night and order two or three of them," the young man explained.

Tifa stopped mixing the drink. _No way,_ she thought to herself. _There is no way in hell. _ He could only be speaking on that same young man. She spoke up as she finished mixing the drink, "I'm sorry but you wouldn't happen to remember his name would you?"

The man took a sip of the drink and responded. "I don't remember, sorry, but he was right about this drink. It is the best I've ever had." The young man looked up, "And you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, just like he said."

"Thank you. I take a lot of pride in it. And don't worry about the name, I was just curious." She walked away blushing. _He said that about me? He called me beautiful? _she thought to herself. She had always had a soft spot for him, knowing that he liked her, but he had never said anything like that to her.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

It was nearing closing time and the crowd was thinning. Tifa kept looking at the young man sitting at the end of the bar, blushing every time thinking about his words. As she announced that it was almost closing time to the few patrons that remained, the young man stood up to leave. She walked over to him.

"Will we be seeing you here again?" she asked him.

"You will, as long as a seat is available," he responded. He turned to leave.

"I'm sorry I didn't catch your name. I try to remember all my patron's names," she stated as he was almost to the door.

"I didn't give it," he said with a small smile as he walked out the door.

"He was rude," a bartender named Yuffie said walking past Tifa.

"Don't worry about it, Yuffie. Some people are just like that." Tifa just sighed. She never liked customers like that but you can't expect everyone to be friendly. _Why was he smiling as he left? He only had one drink,_ she thought to herself. "His drink . . . oh! I forgot to clean up his glass." She reached to pick up glass she had served the "Final Heaven" in but stopped as she looked down. Lying on the table was 1,000 gil to pay for his one drink. Tifa ran out the front door, frantically looking around. She didn't see him, and walked back inside. _There is no way; absolutely no way it could be him. That guy must have just made a mistake. I'll just put it in the tab book as a credit to him. _She returned to the tip and picked it up. Lying underneath the money was a small card. On the card, scrawled in messy handwriting, were the words, "I guess it pays the bills, plus some."

Tifa dropped the glass, ignoring the crash and the shards covering the floor. She turned the card over, finding the words "Come by the old place later," written in the same messy handwriting. A smile lit across her face. "Yuffie!" she yelled. "I'm going out, you finish cleaning up." Not hearing Yuffie's protests, Tifa ran out the door and down the street. _Those were the same words he said when he left the first time, that bastard_ she thought to herself. She turned a corner heading to a small water tank on the edge of the sector. He used to take her there, saying it was where he could best think. They used to be able to climb up, almost touching the plate, and see through a large section of missing panels in an unfinished area, and see the stars, a few of them at least. The conglomerate that owned Midgar, Shin-Ra, had long since expanded into that sector and had blocked the hole in the plate to build a shopping center for the wealthy. She scrambled up the tower looking for him. It had been almost five years since she had seen him. She wanted to talk with him like they used to, in her bar, waiting for closing time, when they would climb the tower and look at the stars.

He wasn't there. She pulled out the card to make sure she wasn't dreaming. As she read the card over and over, the wind caught it and pulled it from her hand. She jumped after it, desperate to hold it and read those words once more. Forgetting where she was, Tifa hopped around on the top of the tower, grasping right and left for the card. She reached out again, barely reaching the card and clasped her hand around it, elated to be able to read it once more. As her fingers closed around it, pulling it towards her chest, she slipped. She was so concerned about that little card that she had forgotten about her footing on the tower. Sliding down to the edge of the tank, she thought, _Not yet, I'm so close to seeing him again. I have to see if it's really him._ Her hands scrambled about reached for something to grab a hold of, ignoring the card while it slipped from her grasp and fell from the tower. As she slid off the edge finding nothing to hold onto, a strong hand grabbed hers and held on until she stopped swinging and grasped the ladder rungs. The little card fluttered off in the wind.

"You are still as careless as ever." She looked up to see whose voice it was.

"You are still late to everything," she said as a smile broke out across her face. It really was him, her old friend.

"That makes it three times I've saved you like this, Tifa Lockhart," he said climbing up onto the top of the tower. "What would you do without me?" Tifa pulled herself up next to him.

"I'd be back in my bar, closing up, and not up here dangling for my life, Cloud Strife," she retorted, slightly indignant, but still very happy to see the young man. "You always have to do things the hard way." Tifa was smiling too hard to be able to give him the stern look she wanted.

"Well, what do you expect, I have to keep things interesting."

"I don't need this much excitement. So what are you doing back in Midgar? I thought you were moving to Junon for good?"

"I decided to leave. Life was too boring there."

"What do you expect? You used to have to run for your life on a daily basis five years ago." She just smiled at the memories of his crazy adventures he used to tell her about. "Now, is that the only reason? Why didn't you just move to Neibelheim afterwards or something?"

"I had to come back here." Tifa couldn't believe her ears.

_Did he come back for me?_ she thought to herself. _He knows I never had feelings for him. He was a friend, yes, but I was never in love with him or anything._

"I couldn't make ends meet, so I had to come back where I could find work. Junon is in a recession, and I couldn't afford to go overseas to Costa del Sol, or Rocket Town, or Wutai."

"I thought you had a small fortune saved up, am I wrong?" Tifa couldn't imagine Cloud going though his 100-million gil fortune in such a short time. _He used to be so proud of it.   
When he told me how much he had I couldn't believe it. How could he let it slip though his fingers so fast? If that's the case, how could he afford to leave a tip that big this time?_

Cloud remained silent for a moment with a solemn look on his face. "I'm sorry, I guess I asked too personal a question," Tifa quickly added.

"I couldn't use that money. I . . ." Cloud thought for a moment. "I lost it all because of a mistake."

_One hundred million gil? Is it possible to loose that much money from one mistake?_ Tifa pondered the situation silently.

_I can't tell her why I couldn't touch the money. How could I live with myself using money made in exchange for men's lives? I hope she never found out how I earned that money in the first place. She would never forgive me. I could live without ever working again, but would she live with me if she knew? Could she ever accept me being what I used to be? All I want is to be near her. Maybe she'll allow that much._

"Something on your mind, Cloud?" Tifa was becoming concerned by his spaced out look. "Anything you want to talk about?"

"Hey, Tifa. I was wondering if I could work at your bar for a while?"

"Work at my bar? What are you talking about? You wouldn't want to work there, I mean, if you could afford to leave a tip the size you did, how do you expect me to believe you need the wages from a bar in the slums?"

"Look, I've never changed my drink order, I've never changed my seat, I've never left a tip less than twice the bill, and I never plan on changing those things. I do, however, need a source of income, and a place to stay if there is anyway you could help me out. I'm willing to do anything, from bouncer to bartender to janitor."

Tifa just laughed. "Cloud, you bailed me out of so many jams, from my landlord trying to cheat me, to the fights in the bar you stopped, to the guy who tried to rape me . . ." Tifa's expression became very somber, not from the memory of the guy who tried to take advantage of her, but from seeing what Cloud did to him. She knew Cloud was tough from the way he dealt with the fights at the bar, but after seeing a half dead man because of Cloud's actions, even though he had it coming, it scared her.

Cloud knew that she was remembering the time he nearly killed a man in front of her. He was so angry that he forgot to hold himself back. Without losing control, he nearly murdered a man in cold blood for hurting Tifa. "Tifa, look, if it is too much, don't worry about it. I can try to find a way back into my old job if I need to."

"Cloud, I don't know what your old job was but you didn't seem happy with it. You told me you needed to leave Midgar to get away from it and now you are sitting here saying you might go back to it? No chance in hell. You can stay in the empty room at my place above the bar until you find some other place. I'll find some jobs for you to do, but one condition. Don't ever scare me like you did that night. Don't ever scare me that way again."

Cloud sat quietly for a moment. When he opened his eyes and looked at Tifa, he said, "I won't ever do anything to scare you. I will never do anything to scare you from now on. If I do, I don't think you could possibly hate me half as much as I will myself."

Tifa smiled at him. _He hasn't changed. He is still so hard on himself. I could never hate him, but he will never realize that. He may scare me, but I would never push him way. I just wish he would be honest with me. I know he's hiding something, he always has been. It just doesn't all fit._

"Hey, Cloud. Don't worry about it. You don't need to be so hard on yourself, let's head back to the bar and get you some blankets so you can get a good night's sleep. You look like you need it."

_You always were an angel to me, even when I barely spoke to you. Maybe someday I'll be able to tell you how I really feel._ Cloud stood up, slinging his massive sword over his shoulder.

"You still carry that around?"

"It's been useful a few times since I last saw you. Come on, climb on my back, I'll carry you down." Cloud dropped his sword off the edge of the tower as he had done many times before, watching it stick itself into the earth.

Cloud climbed down the tower with Tifa clinging tightly to his back. He used to always carry her up and down this tower. It made for good training, and she was close to him this way. Tifa always felt relaxed holding onto Cloud, even though she was plenty strong enough to carry him up herself. It would be nice to have him around again. Maybe she would learn the truth from him after all these year. Maybe her old friend would finally open up to her. She had always wondered why he was so mature for his age. He was a child five years ago and yet he seemed as if he had lived through the most unforgivable times. There hadn't been a war since before they were born, but Cloud seemed to have seen more death than most soldiers.

When they arrived back at the bar, Yuffie was just finishing up.

"Tifa! I just finished cleaning up, why are you bringing more customers in? We're closed anyway. Hey, aren't you the rude guy that left that massive tip earlier?" Yuffie had a knack for being annoying as well as saying the wrong thing at the most inopportune time.

"Yuffie, shut up for once. He's not here to drink. He's an old friend and is going to be working here from now on."

"Nice to meet you! Sorry about the rude thing, a second ago. You are pretty cute, though. Want to come home with me for the night?" Yuffie also had an unsuccessful habit of trying to pick up guys. Not once could any guy stand her long enough to make it one block out of the bar.

"YUFFIE!" Tifa yelled. Yuffie closed her mouth, promptly leaving for her house a few blocks away. "Sorry about that. She never has had the best judgment. Anyway, let's get you set up in the living room upstairs." Tifa led Cloud up the stairs hidden behind the bar. She pulled an extra blanket and pillow from the closet and laid them out on the couch. "I hope you don't mind, but since I live here alone, I don't have a spare bed or anything."

"A couch will be the most comfortable thing I've slept on in weeks. Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Anyway, make yourself at home, but stay out of my bedroom," she said with a laugh. "Goodnight."

"'Night, Tifa. And thanks again." Tifa waved over her shoulder as she walked into her bedroom. She began to peel off her trademark white shirt and black skirt thinking about the day.

"It'll be nice to have him around again. He always was reliable whenever things went south. Maybe he'll even loosen up some and be more open about his feelings. Ah, who am I kidding, this is Cloud we're talking about here. He probably wouldn't change if hell froze over."

She drew a bath to soak in for a while before falling asleep. The whole time her thoughts revolved around Cloud. How long would he stay? Had his feelings for her changed? When she got out of the bath, she dried off and fell into bed, asleep soon after crawling underneath the sheets. Even her dreams were about Cloud. She dreamed of him marrying her and taking her away from Midgar, to someplace exotic, where there were sandy beaches that stretched for miles and beautiful homes right on the shoreline.

She awoke in the late morning, and immediately dismissed the dream as a childish fantasy. Cloud would never take her anywhere, she wasn't in love with him and if he was working for her, he certainly wouldn't be able to pay for a trip to a resort. She dressed quickly and entered the living room, only to find the couch exactly as she had left it. She panicked for a moment wondering if all of last night was a dream, when she saw Cloud sitting in a corner. He was asleep, crouched in a corner, with his sword in hand. She walked over to him, getting within a few feet when he jumped awake. Tifa jumped back in fear when he clinched his sword with his hands and pointed it at her.

After a few seconds, Cloud looked around. Upon seeing Tifa, he relaxed his grip on his sword. "I'm really sorry about that, Tifa. I didn't scare you did I?"

Tifa looked at him peculiarly, wondering what that was all about. "No, it's okay. I'm just kind of curious why you didn't sleep on the couch."

"Well . . ." Cloud pondered for a moment as he looked at the ground. "Old habits die hard is the easiest way to say it."

Tifa looked at Cloud intently for a moment. "Cloud, it's been nice seeing you again, and I don't mind you working at the bar, but if you want to keep staying here, you have some serious explaining to do." Cloud continued avoiding her eyes as she stared at him. She waited for a brief moment before she lost it. "Why are you really back in Midgar? Where have you been the past five years? Why do you sleep with your damn sword in your hands? And most importantly, why the hell were you pointing that sword at me before you were even awake? What is going on with you?"


	2. A Soft Place To Land

Chapter 2

Tifa stood glaring at Cloud waiting for a response. _He should have a lot of things to say but he's still standing there, staring at the ground. Why isn't he saying anything? He just pointed his sword at me and is acting like it was almost nothing._ Tifa was growing increasingly impatient.

"I'm sorry. I just . . . I have had to protect myself over the years and sleeping like that became a habit." _How can I tell her that I sleep like that so I'm not the one killed?_

Tifa cautiously stepped towards him, worrying whether he would raise his sword again. When she was within a few feet of him, he sat down on the floor and looked up, his bright, crystal blue eyes begging for understanding.

"You used to tell me about crazy adventures where you had to run for your life, where men tried to kill you, where you saw men die. Cloud, tell me what you really did for a living five years ago. I don't care what it was, but, just, please, tell me the truth." Tifa really wasn't sure she wanted to know, but that was irrelevant. It had now become a matter of trust. Either he told her the truth, or she would kick him out to fend for himself hoping to never set her eyes on him again.

"Tifa . . . I don't know where to begin."

"Well, dammit, how about the beginning?" Tifa was becoming irritated at his reluctance to even speak, much less answer the question. Cloud had become good at avoiding questions after years of practice. He could never let anyone know what he did since many people were still after his life. Tifa knew more about him than anyone, and he did not want to betray that trust.

_Is being near her and keeping her trust worth putting her life in danger? There has to be some way to satisfy her without telling the whole truth. _Cloud's mind raced with ideas to defuse the situation, knowing none of which would satisfy Tifa. _All right, maybe if I tell her a glazed version of it all, she'll let it slide for now. I can't believe I'm doing this. It's going to put her in danger, more danger than I can protect her from._

"I don't want to put you in danger, Tifa. If I tell you anything I may not be able to protect you if something-"

"I don't care!" Tifa interrupted. "Either tell me everything or walk out of the door right now." This had gone on for long enough. _Now he's trying to scare me out of knowing? Does he honestly think that will work?_

_Dammit, Tifa, I don't have a choice if I want to stay near you._ "Alright, you win. I'll be honest with you about my past." _Well, part of it at least. I hope I can get out of this without saying everything. I don't even want to remember it much less tell anyone about it._

"Now that we have that cleared up," Tifa watched him intently. "Start talking."

"I used to make money using my sword. I was a bodyguard for various people. I fought for a living." Hell had just frozen over. "I can't tell you who I fought, not that it matters. I can't tell you who because I don't know. I can tell you that I'm not the most popular guy in Midgar, on or under the plate because of those fights."

Tifa gave him a focused stare. _Does he really expect me to buy this crap? Come on, Cloud, I'm not that gullible. Bodyguards aren't hunted down once they quit, and there is no way you could make 100 million as a bodyguard at 16 even if it was for someone like the president of Shin-Ra._

Cloud saw her mistrust. _I hope she starts buying it soon because her life isn't worth the whole truth._ "I worked for many different people, some richer than others, and became well known in darker circles for my skills. I could protect anyone from anybody, for the right price."

"Give it up!" Tifa's outburst startled Cloud. "Do you honestly expect me to believe that you amassed a fortune protecting people down here under the plate after hearing all those stories about you running for your life? I can't believe I even let you talk as long as you did. Just get out." Tifa turned away, pointing at the staircase. "Just get out of my house, my bar, and my life." Cloud was crushed. He began walking to the doorway.

_I don't have any choice now; I can't let it end like this. I won't be cast aside for telling the truth!_ "I was a bodyguard! I did protect people . . . from others . . . like me." Cloud's expression became very subdued after his outburst. Tifa softened and turned back around finding him staring at the floor.

_Wait, did he say others like me? What does he mean? Even if he were a bodyguard, why would he protect people from other bodyguards? That wouldn't be possible unless . . . no._

"Cloud, maybe you should leave. I don't like how you keep lying to me and if you can't trust me, then well, I don't think I can trust you." Tifa's mouth slowly dropped. _There is no way. Him . . . an assassin? He killed people for money? No, that can't be, the Cloud I knew only stopped fights. He would never hurt anyone unless he had to._

"Tifa, I left Midgar for a reason. I didn't leave for a job; I didn't leave for money. I left out of fear." Cloud looked up with a terrified expression on his face, his blue eyes shining in the morning light. "The only way I could get out of that life was leaving this place forever. And after five years . . . I found that I couldn't stay away from this place, no matter how much I probably should."

The room was quiet while both of them thought about the words just said. _He was serious the whole time. His body was shaking as he said it all. The boy, no, man, standing before me used to be a murderer? Is he still?_ Tifa slowly stepped back in horror. _He said he couldn't stay away from Midgar. Did he come back to take another job? Why did he come find me of all people? He used to say I made him want to stop, but does he resent me for that, for giving him a conscience?_

Cloud stood in the doorway at the top of the stairs. His body was still trembling from having to remember the horrific things he had done to so many. _She must hate me. I can hear her walking away. She's terrified of me. Dammit, I promised her I would never scare her again! Look at the first thing I went and did after she was kind enough to put a roof over my head for the first night in a month. I need to leave her before she becomes too scared of me to speak, if she isn't already._ Cloud took a step towards the stairs.

_He's . . . trembling? Did he really mean it when he said he left because he wanted to get away from that life? Is that why he came to me? Is that why he came to the bar night after night? Was I some piece of normalcy he was missing in his life? Is that why he . . . was always so protective of me?_ She noticed him take a step towards the staircase. _Are you leaving, Cloud? I don't know what to make of all of this but are you leaving without giving me a chance to say anything in response? Cloud, I . . . I don't want you to disappear like you did five years ago but . . ._ Tifa's thoughts began to drift from terror to worry. Cloud seemed to be horrified of his own past, and she was frightened just imagining it. Tifa began to think about what it must have been like to actually kill any human, about what Cloud might have gone though after realizing he could be more than a murderer.

"Cloud?" Tifa faintly whispered as he took another step down the stairs. "Are you . . . okay?" Tifa was becoming genuinely concerned about Cloud. His body was shaking more and more violently with every slow step. "Cloud, are you leaving?" she asked as he took another step. _Please say something, Cloud. Please just say something. If you're leaving just say good-bye. Don't leave like this, not without saying anything._ Cloud took one more step down the stairs.

_She would never be able to be near me. She would never be able to stand my presence. I did such horrible things, and worst of all, I lied about it all to her. I wasn't the one running for my life, those other men were. How could she ever trust a man like me, a man who had no value for human life other than money? How could . . . _Cloud's thoughts stopped mid-sentence as his mind went blank. His violent tremors had become so bad that he couldn't keep his balance. His body collapsed from under him letting him fall down the stairs. He heard someone scream. _Probably Tifa_, he thought. Before he passed out one last thought went through his mind. _Please forgive me, or at least forget me._

-----------------------------------------------------------------

_Damn, my head hurts._ Cloud's mind began to wake up from a deep sleep. _I didn't drink anything, I know that much._ He shifted his body, slowly stretching out his muscles and joints. _My body feels okay for the most part. _He stretched his torso._ Ouch! What the hell? Why do my ribs hurt? It feels like I just fell . . . down . . . damn. _Cloud suddenly remembered what had happened. He finally recalled telling Tifa a small bit about his past, only to collapse from remembering all of it himself. His eyes slowly opened as he sat up.

"Where the hell?" Cloud was lying in a bed with a small, damp rag on his forehead. As he looked around, he noticed a sparsely decorated room. _Did someone pick me up and drag me to a hotel or something to take care of me? _He noticed his sword over in a corner next to his boots. _I guess whoever brought me here doesn't hate me. _There was a knock on the door before it began to open. Cloud dropped back flat onto the bed and closed his eyes before the person entered the door.

"Cloud? Are you awake?" Tifa's gentle, angelic voice came from the doorway. "Cloud? I thought I heard you moving." She slowly walked over to the bed with a small basin of cool water. _I hope he's okay. He's been unconscious for almost two days now. _"I don't know what happened, Cloud. I wish I knew why you collapsed like that. I wish I knew what to do. I hope you wake up soon." There was sadness in her voice as she removed the warm, damp cloth from his forehead.

_Tifa, you're the one who's been taking care of me? Why, after all the things I said? _Cloud's mind raced with a thousand thoughts while she dabbed the sweat off his face and rinsed the rag. _How could I ever expect to regain your trust after breaking it like I did?_ His face began to tighten with all the questions in his mind.

"Cloud! What's wrong? Oh no, please, be okay." Tifa's earnest voice filled the room. She rinsed the rag again and fervently dabbed his face and neck. "Please, Cloud, you have to wake up. I'm sorry for what I said the other day; I didn't mean to make you suffer. Please, just wake up!"

_Sorry? What does she have to be sorry for? I'm the one who hurt her. That's right . . . I am the one who hurt her. Maybe I should apologize. Maybe? No, I have to apologize. Once I've done that, I can leave her and her life in peace._ He slowly opened his eyes. "Tifa?"

"Cloud, you're awake!" Tifa jumped at him, wrapping her arms around him. "I was so worried! You've been unconscious for two days and I was starting to fear the worst!" Tifa held him close as tears began to form in her eyes.

"Tifa? What are you doing?" Cloud was bewildered by Tifa's actions. He had never had a woman hold him as she was holding him now. "Is everything alright?"

"You idiot! Can't you understand that I was worried about you? I was beginning to think you wouldn't wake back up!" Tifa pulled back so she could look through her watery eyes into his. After a brief moment with their eyes locked, Tifa's face changed to a saddened expression. "Cloud, I'm sorry. I said some horrible things to you the other day, and for that I'm sorry. I know that . . ."

Cloud began to sit up. "No Tifa, I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm the one that should be apologizing. I'm the one who lied. I'm the one who broke your trust." Tifa relaxed her grip further and placed one foot on the floor, still a sad look on her face. "You said that I needed to leave, and . . . that's exactly what I need to do and what I'm going to do." Cloud began to climb off the end of the bed.

"What are you . . . Cloud? Are you leaving?" Tifa's expression began to change. She could not even begin to fathom Cloud's reasoning. Regardless, him leaving was not what she wanted, not after how she had said such awful things in her opinion. Her face reflected her new serious tone as she became filled with determination to keep him around until she knew who he really was.

"Dammit, Cloud, what are you thinking? After I spent two days taking care of you, you want to just walk out the door?" Tifa's voice was filled with anger despite her eyes still being filled with tears. Cloud stopped walking towards the door. Tifa had become angry with him, not for his past, as she was two nights prior. _He has the audacity to want to walk out after I try to apologize for the other night? Can't he see that I want him around, that stupid idiot?_ Tifa stood up, pointedly advancing towards Cloud.

"What . . . Tifa?" While Tifa could not understand Cloud's mindset, Cloud could not understand Tifa's thinking. _What the hell did I do? I'm only doing what she wanted me to do and what needs to be done._ Tifa's demeanor calmed after she stepped between Cloud and the doorway.

"Leaving now isn't going to change anything, but . . ." Tifa paused trying to collect her thoughts. She had never before thought about what Cloud really meant to her. Five years ago he was always there, encouraging her with his shining blue eyes and absurdly spiky blonde hair. It was true that she had missed him occasionally over the years for no other reason than he had evolved into a source of comfort and familiarity while tending to the rowdy crowd that normally occupied her bar. However, seeing him again had caused her to recall her decisions the past five years. "Cloud, would you please stay for a while?" Cloud looked at Tifa bewildered, her eyes turned slightly downward and to the side.

"Tifa, you yourself said that I should . . ."

"I know what I said," Tifa interrupted, her gaze returning to meet his. "I know I said you had better leave, but I think I was mistaken. If you don't mind, would you stay so we can catch up? It has been five years after all." Tifa's expression had softened further, now to the point where her eyes, still holding her tears from earlier, softly cried out for attention.

Cloud was not sure what to make of the situation. He readily recalled the events that had transpired the other night, leading him to decide to leave. _She wanted me to leave then, but now she wants me to stay? She just isn't making any sense._ _What does she really want from me?_

"Cloud?" Tifa's eyes searched for some form of affirmation from him. "Please, I know I said some things that I shouldn't have." Cloud's eyes dropped from her gaze. "We haven't even heard from each other in almost five years since you left. You obviously had your own reasons for leaving and left of your own accord, but it has been five years. Please, just, stay so we can at least catch up. If you want to leave after that . . . well, I guess I can't stop you if you really want to go." Her eyes dropped to the floor as his had.

_She's right. It has been a while, and it would be nice to stay in one place for more than a day or two. I don't want her in danger, but I guess a few days wouldn't cause any real harm._ Cloud's mind slowly mulled over her proposition, agreeing more every time he reiterated it in his mind. He slowly raised his eyes hoping to meet hers only to find hers as his were, at the ground. _A few days couldn't hurt._

"Tifa," he started. Her eyes immediately returned to meet his. "All right, I'll stay for a few days." Her face began to brighten. "It's nice to see you again, and I would like to know what you've been up to for the past five years." A smile spread across Tifa's face as she closed her eyes and nodded in agreement.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Cloud had finally given in, against his better judgment he felt, and would stay with Tifa for a week as she had finally requested. He would actually sleep on the couch, rather than in a corner as he had the first night. She also made him promise that he would not sleep with his sword in his hands. She would never admit it to him, but she was truly terrified when she saw the expression of murderous intent on his face. Tifa assigned him the tasks of both bouncer and janitor while he helped with the bar, jobs he did not mind performing as he had done them five years ago on occasion.

Cloud had rested most of the day since he awoke after his fall, but with the bar open, Tifa needed his help. A few people did drink too much and tried to start a fight during the evening, a situation that Cloud promptly resolved. Yuffie attempted to pick up her usual assortment of guys, much to the irritation of Tifa as usual. Yuffie spent more time trying, and failing, to pick up guys than she spent working. Cloud even had to drag her off a few patrons, which Tifa found amusing, seeing Yuffie being carried off underneath Cloud's arm fighting to get free and return to a newly relieved customer.

As it neared closing time, Cloud began cleaning up the bar per Tifa's instruction. He began moving the stock to the storeroom, clearing the now empty tables of their glasses, and wiping down the vacant tables. Patrons slowly left the bar, followed by Yuffie at closing time, while Cloud remained to finish cleaning up as Tifa checked the stock.

"You need any help over there?" Cloud looked at Tifa while she mulled over numbers and gil spread across the counter.

"No, I'm fine. I'm just making sure Yuffie didn't steal any money tonight."

"Well, if you do let me know." Cloud finished wiping down the last table and walked over to Tifa. "I'm done cleaning everything, you need anything else?" Tifa looked up at him.

"No, why don't you head upstairs and shower or something? I just have a little more to do then I'll be up." Cloud turned and began walking up the stairs. _He worked so hard tonight and he seemed to be feeling better. I hope he really is all right._ Her thoughts returned not to the money on the bar, but rather the countless looks she had given him, not a single one she thought he noticed.

The water ran down his back, the warmth soaking into his body. Cloud reflected on the night, remembering his constant glances at Tifa, not a single one he thought she noticed. She had become more beautiful over the past five years; her body had matured and filled out, making her appearance stunning. Her eyes had become deeper, more soulful, but they were as energetic as when he first met her. _The last time I saw her she was only sixteen._ _I guess people can change a lot in five years. _Cloud himself felt stagnated, as if he was the same person as the day he left the gates of the slums headed for Kalm five years ago; that fateful day when he vowed never to return again.

He heard the stairs creak as Tifa walked up to the second floor. He turned the water off while reaching for a towel. Tifa disappeared into her bedroom just before Cloud emerged from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. Cloud called out to her.

"So was tonight a normal night for the bar? I mean, I'm guessing that Cid guy drinks himself stupid every night." He was trying to find some semblance of a conversation. He still felt awkward living under the same roof as her. "I'd also bet that Yuffie tries to pick up guys like that all the time. Does it ever work?" Cloud dressed while he waited for a response.

Tifa had not answered by the time Cloud was dressed. Her silence had begun to worry him. _Is she all right?_ Cloud's thoughts quickly imagined the worst possible scenario. He hurried to her bedroom door only to slowly crack it open. He heard no noise causing his curiosity to get the better of him. He opened the door enough to peer into the room. Tifa was lying face up on the still-made bed, fully dressed, fast asleep. Cloud's heart slowed back to a normal pace as he took a deep breath. She was fine, just exhausted from the night's work.

Cloud walked over to the side of the bed, careful not to wake the sleeping beauty. His bright blue eyes watched her angelic face as she breathed shallow breaths of the humid air left from his shower. After a moment, he slowly untied her boots, delicately removing them and placing each as the foot of the bed. With her boots removed, Cloud gently lifted her torso pulling the sheets down to her waist then placing one of her soft pillows beneath her head. He then carefully lifted her legs as he pulled the sheets far enough down to move them around her feet. He gingerly rolled her onto her side before he laid the sheets on top of her, ensuring she would be warm during the chilly night. As he returned to the door, he glanced over his shoulder to gaze upon her one last time before he lowered his head and closed the door. He never did hear her whisper his name only moments later.

Cloud returned to the couch as he promised he would. He glanced at the corner, making sure his sword was all right as he sat down on the couch. He would keep his promise to sleep on the couch, and without sword in hand. Completely unaware of it, Cloud had sworn to himself to do anything Tifa would ask, without hesitation. She was still the testament to stability he so desperately desired to have. As he lay down a thought crossed his mind.

_Maybe someday I really will be rid of my old life, my old memories, my old pain. Maybe someday, and then maybe when that day comes she'll be with me._ Cloud drifted off to sleep thinking about how nice it was to be near her, without having killed the night before. His dreams were peaceful for once. He wouldn't remember them in the morning, but his dreams were of a small town near the mountains, a well in the center, children laughing in the summer sun, Tifa holding his hand, a golden band on her left ring finger, and one on his as well.


	3. Revelations of the Past

Chapter 3

Tifa's mind slowly stirred as she began regaining consciousness. Her thoughts drifted to the previous day. _I'll have to talk to Yuffie about the money she took last night. _Tifa sat up in her bed while stretching out the various joints in her body. _And I need to talk to Cid about his tab again._ She opened her eyes to gaze out her window at the morning sun. _I guess I had better get up. I'm nearly out of food and with Cloud . . ._

She looked at the bed realizing that she lay underneath sheets. Instantly her mind ran with possibilities of what had transpired the previous night to find her tucked into her own bed. Cloud was not in the room, nor was any of his clothing. Her heart calmed down when she realized that she was fully clothed, minus her boots.

"Cloud, you really are a sweetheart beneath that cold shell of yours," Tifa whispered to herself as she smiled. She got out of bed, heading towards her door to check on Cloud. When she opened the door, Cloud was not lying on the sofa. She had laid out blankets for him last night only to find them folded up, placed over the back of the sofa. His sword remained in the corner, meaning he had not departed for good. Tifa walked across the living room to the kitchen, only to find a note on the table.

"There wasn't anything for breakfast so I left to get some stuff – Cloud"

She blinked a few times at the note before smiling and setting it back down on the table. Tifa returned to her bedroom to choose clothes for the day before showering. _Cloud, you have been so good to me the last few days. You never used to do anything for anyone, and now I find you running out to pick up groceries. _She smiled to herself again as she entered the bathroom. She reached to turn on the shower with a final thought. _Who would've thought that a life like this would make me so happy? Maybe this is right. Maybe Cloud is right._ She shook her head with a smile and began undressing.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

He approached the old train yard. _Nothing has really changed. It even smells the same._ Cloud meandered through the wreckage, running his hands along the familiar cars. Like everywhere else in Midgar, five long years had passed since he walked this path. While he never enjoyed walking this path, until he met Tifa, he never hated it. This moment, Cloud abhorred the path.

Cloud had walked away from this life; he had left everything behind. He swore that nothing would ever make him return to it. _Damn unfinished business. I thought this was all taken care of._ His thoughts filled with anger, directed mostly towards his own being. Nothing in the farthest reaches of his imagination could have prepared him for the phone call he received only a week prior.

Someone tracked him down. Cloud, who had carefully left behind no trace five years ago, had been located. The voice over the phone rang in his mind. He had worked for many different men, being employed by one only to be assassinating him the next week. Convinced that he had no interest in the matters of those who he worked for, Cloud never took any interest in any one, until his last job five years ago.

"So you are still alive, Cloud Strife." A voice pierced the cold air. Around a corner walked a red-haired man. If he expected to surprise Cloud, he found himself sadly mistaken. He soon felt a knife pressed against his neck. "Well, you do indeed live up to your reputation, for a man that's been dead for five years."

"You called me out here. Tell me why, and tell me fast if you want to keep your throat in one piece." Cloud did not want to be here, but the man had mentioned Cloud's final job, saying it remained incomplete.

"Calm down, and I'll tell you." Cloud removed the knife from the man's throat keeping it in hand just in case it became needed. "As I'm sure you remember, your last job involved the assassination of the head of a research organization. The Shin-Ra Corporation hired you to eliminate a potential competitor. I am here today, as a representative of Shin-Ra, to ask you to complete your contract."

_Damn Dog of Shin-Ra. _They had asked Cloud to assassinate the head of a corporation performing research in Mako, a potent energy source, and its relationship to the planet. He carried out the task perfectly, flawlessly. The second half, which remained incomplete, felt more distasteful than even murder. _How did they find out she's still alive? How did the Turks find out that she didn't die in that accident?_

The man rolled his eyes and sighed. "Here's the deal, Cloud. We know the girl survived. We know you didn't let her die and we know that she's in Midgar somewhere. Normally we would take care of this ourselves, but . . . after this I'm off duty. Either you finish the contract, and deliver the research subject to us, or your girlfriend will meet with an unfortunate accident."

Cloud's eyes narrowed. "You sadistic bastard. If you lay one finger on Tifa I'll . . ."

"Even you can't protect her from all of Shin-Ra. Where there's a will, there're the Turks." The man turned to walk away. "Oh, and by the way, you have a week to find and deliver the girl. Once you have her, call me. The name's Reno." He walked off, dropping a business card over his shoulder into the dirt.

Cloud sheathed the knife and stooped to pick up the business card, cursing Reno's name again. No matter the obscenities placed before it, he remained right. As a warrior, Cloud had proven himself among the best, but he could never protect Tifa from Shin-Ra, leaving him with few options. While no pleasant option came to mind, fulfilling the contract would sit far worse. Either he took Tifa and ran from Shin-Ra or he found the girl, the daughter of the late head of the organization, and turned her over.

"Dammit, I can't figure this out. I'll worry about it later." Cloud began wandering back in the direction of Seventh Heaven. His mind raced with various scenarios of what would happen if he turned the girl over to Reno. Each one he thought of proved more vicious and detestable than the last. _I can't let them hurt her, not after going to all that trouble to hide her. I've got to find another way, but I can't let them hurt Tifa either._ Cloud slammed his fist into an old boxcar, heavily denting it, when his stomach rumbled. "Shit! I forgot to pick up food for breakfast!" He sprinted off towards the market muttering apologies to Tifa.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

It had taken Cloud the better part of the morning to retrieve breakfast for the two of them. Tifa was irritated by this, but quickly forgave him when the aroma of frying ham, eggs, and toast filled the air. The day passed with pleasant conversation. Tifa explained what had occurred during the past five years in her life.

The bar started to become popular, requiring her to hire additional staff. Despite being a kleptomaniac, Yuffie worked hard, and as a result, she remained employed with Tifa for four years now. Once Cloud had left, numerous men tried to pick her up, none of which were successful as they were usually scared off by Yuffie. Tifa had not dated anyone, especially considering most of her suitors looked twice her age at the youngest. The only regular customer who never tried to pick her up was Cid, a perpetually drunk man who apparently used to be a genius working for Shin-Ra.

Many men had approached her, claiming to be wealthy and successful, but none of them seemed sincere enough to be worth any time. The few men that she did befriend never asked for anything but friendship. Barret, the bouncer she had for a while still kept in touch. Once he became a father he tried to find a more reputable occupation. Most of the time when he contacted Tifa, it pertained to asking for a babysitter for his daughter, Marlene, but occasionally he called to catch up with and check up on Tifa. Nothing during the past five years had caused any significant problem for Tifa.

Cloud tried to pay attention and respond to Tifa during the conversation, but it soon became one-sided. His mind remained filled with Reno's words. He would not let anything happen to Tifa if he could help it, but letting her know that she lived in danger was not an option. Cloud needed to resolve the situation as soon as possible — and quietly. One could hardly construe turning over a presumably defenseless girl to a group of sadists as morally correct, but endangering Tifa, a woman who he had grown fond of, seemed even more objectionable.

"Oh no, Cloud! We need to get ready to open the bar!" Tifa interjected into his thoughts. "I can't believe I didn't realize what time it is. We can finish catching up later." Tifa ran off downstairs to unlock the storeroom. Cloud's occupied mind didn't notice her absence until she called up to him. "Cloud, would you help me haul these crates out?"

He shook his head, trying to remove the newly revealed burden from his mind. After clearing the table, Cloud helped Tifa prepare for the night's business. While moving crates, he concluded that Tifa deserved protecting. He watched her clean the counters, pull chairs from the tops of tables, and place various bottles under the counter. To most people, these actions seemed routine, but Cloud saw a different image. Tifa looked genuinely happy. She had created something that became successful; she befriended people and asked nothing in return. She had done nothing to deserve being involved with his dark past.

Tifa unlocked the front door, where Cid was waiting for his first drink of the day. Other customers trickled in over the next few hours until almost every seat was occupied. Unfortunately for Cloud, no fights had broken out, leaving him free to mull over the Turk's words. While trying to convince himself that fulfilling the contract would not haunt him, two men began an argument on the far side of the room. A quick glace at Tifa affirmed that the men involved would probably start throwing punches soon.

Cloud walked over in time to watch the first blow. Before any chance of a retaliatory strike, Cloud had both men with arms twisted behind their backs. Cloud's statement remained brief. "I don't care who started it or why, but both of you are out of here." The men tried to protest, explaining a simple misunderstanding caused everything and nothing would happen again, but Tifa's rules remained absolute. Both men found themselves outside in the dirt, rubbing their shoulders and swearing they would never spend their money there again. Cloud turned around to see Tifa whisper a thank you. He walked back over to his chair and, upon sitting down, was approached by a young woman.

"Thank you so much, sir," the young woman said bowing. She stood back up, revealing a beautiful face with bright green eyes. "Those men tried to ask me out and when I turned both of them down, they stated blaming each other. I didn't think saying I wasn't interested would cause them to fight."

Taken aback by her forwardness, Cloud responded, "Don't worry about it. Taking care of stuff like that is my job." He looked at her, not able to think of anything to say. She was beautiful, with long brown hair twisting around itself, complementing her face nicely. Compared with Tifa's long, straight, dark hair, this young woman's seemed radiant somehow.

"Do you mind if I sit with you for a while? If I stay near you, no one else should bother me." The young woman smiled as she waited for a response. Cloud thought about what Tifa would say, eventually deciding that if he stayed in full view then it would be okay.

"Sure, go ahead and sit down." Cloud moved a chair out from under the table with his foot, not moving from his seat. She sat down and, with a smile on her face, introduced herself.

"My name's Aeris Gainsborough. It's nice to meet you." Cloud introduced himself absent mindedly as he watched the bar's other patrons. Finally, he eyes returned to the young woman. Something about her made Cloud feel calm and at peace — which bothered him. They began casually talking. Nothing about her seemed anything but genuine, causing Cloud to reconsider her as a potential friend. Cloud learned that she had lived with an adoptive mother for most of her life somewhere in a neighboring sector of Midgar. As Cloud became more engaged in his conversation with Aeris, he became more oblivious to Tifa's watchful eye.

She looked on as Cloud and his company talked for only a brief time. Never before had Cloud socialized with a random patron, man or woman. In fact, Cloud had never talked to anyone in the bar, since he didn't seem to have any other friends or acquaintances. Tifa tried to dismiss the thought and tend to the customers, but in the back of her mind resided Cloud and his lighthearted chat with the other woman.

Fortunately for Tifa, the evening passed quickly until the time came to close the bar for the night. Cloud had stopped conversing with the young woman when she left long before closing, but that did not stop Tifa from feeling anxious. _Why am I so upset? For all I know, Cloud has made a lot of friends in the past five years._ Eventually, Tifa became frustrated with herself. Soon, she simply desired silence.

"I'm going upstairs to lie down. Would you mind finishing up here, Yuffie?" Without waiting for a response, Tifa began up the stairs. After thinking for a moment, she called back down. "Yuffie, you better not steal any money tonight. I don't want to deal with it." Yuffie quickly returned the few thousand gil she had tucked into her pockets. Cloud looked at the stairs, wondering if something was wrong. He decided he would ask, but not until the bar was clean and Yuffie had left.

Tifa was resting on the sofa upstairs, unable to describe the vague emotions conflicting within her. _That girl Cloud talked with left the bar after their short conversation. _ _Does that mean that she just stopped by to say "hi"? I've never seen her in the bar before. How long has he known her? It shouldn't matter to me what he does._ _It's not like he owes me anything. I owe him a lot from five years ago. _Footsteps echoed through the stairwell.

"Tifa, is everything alright?" Cloud's head peered into the room from the staircase. He knew of nothing that could cause Tifa to be acting like she was. To his knowledge, everything in her life was going well, except for him showing back up. _I don't think I did anything to upset her._ "Can I get anything for you?" His voice hung in the air as he waited for a response.

_I don't want to deal with you right now, Cloud. I don't know why I'm acting this way, so I don't even want to try explaining it to you._ Tifa rolled over, hiding her face in the pillows. "I just . . . need to rest for a bit." She felt sadness creeping in, nagging at her consciousness. _Why, why am I feeling sad? Nothing happened to make me sad, so why am I feeling this way?_ Cloud walked to the end of the sofa, laying his hand on the back, hesitant to approach Tifa in her current state.

"Are you sure there isn't anything I could get you?" Cloud hoped to come across as sincere, but his confusion began coming through in his voice. "If you want me to just leave I will, but are you sure you really want me to?" He wanted to help. He wanted to understand. He wanted to be close to her. Tifa did not respond to his question.

She felt exasperated with her inability to express her emotions. She knew she should not feel spiteful if Cloud had developed friendships she knew nothing about, but at the moment she did. However, her pride would not allow her to show it. She did not want Cloud to notice the tears collecting in her eyes. She wanted to be completely open and honest with him, but thoughts of the girl could not be erased. As long as the she remained closer to Cloud in Tifa's thoughts than herself, nothing could upset her more. Tifa had felt special being the only one he trusted five years ago. _What's happened to you in these past few years, Cloud? Now I feel like I barely know you._

"I suppose I should just leave then." Cloud's heart sank. He wanted to do so much for Tifa, but if she would not let him in, he felt he could do nothing. "If you want to talk, I'll be downstairs making sure everything is locked up." Removing his hand from the sofa, Cloud stepped towards the stairs.

"Who was she?" Tifa had stopped her tears but she refused to turn around. That one question surmised everything in her heart: her frustration, her sadness, and her confusion. In the past two days, Tifa had met Cloud again for the first time in almost five years. He had revealed to her a dark past filled with painful memories. Tifa felt special when Cloud finally opened up explaining his secrets to her, despite their horrific nature. The depth of his torment was scarcely understandable to Tifa, but if he could share all of that but not the past five years, Tifa sensed it would cut her, far deeper than he could ever understand. It would hurt to be cast aside in favor of new friends. Cloud turned to face her.

"Who was who?" Cloud inquired. "Do you mean Aeris?"

_So he does know her. _Tears began to well up in her eyes once again. _Am I just a long forgotten part of his past? Am I just another person to him?_

"That really was nothing. She came over, introduced herself, and thanked me for 'saving her' from those two guys and talked to me for a bit while nothing was happening in the bar." _Is this all because I talked to a strange woman for a few minutes?_ Relief replaced the confusion in Cloud's voice. "Tifa, I've never had any semblance of a normal life since I first came to Midgar. I want to become more than what I was. You were the one that made me want more, and . . . you are still the one I trust most." His words contained hesitance, not due to fear of the revelation of his emotions to Tifa, but because of the revelation of his own desires to himself.

_You trust me? I made you want more?_ Tifa's thoughts began releasing their sadness, and filling with hope. _Are you saying that I'm still important to you?_

"Tifa, I came back to Midgar hoping for a normal life. I found you, like I did five years ago and you still make me want to better myself." Cloud wanted to reassure her without coming across as insincere. "I'm starting to feel comfortable about others, and the fact that I could talk with Aeris is a sign of that."

The hope in Tifa's heart began turning to gratitude. "Cloud, I'm sorry." Tifa sat up, having already blinked the last tears from her eyes. "I don't know why I acted that way, so would you just forget I ever did?"

Cloud stood in front of Tifa, his calloused hands extended. "You don't have any reason to apologize. I did something to upset you, so I should be the one apologizing." Tifa took his hand, rising to her feet before looking into Cloud's face.

"Cloud, are you okay?" Cloud returned a puzzled look. "It's your eyes, they look . . ." Tifa trailed off.

"Is something wrong with my eyes?" Cloud looked intently into Tifa's, seeing if he could make something of her expression.

"No, it's nothing. Don't worry about it." Tifa removed the concerned look from her face by smiling. "Anyway, I'm going to bed. We need to take inventory tomorrow so I'll need your help."

"No problem, Tifa." Cloud returned the smile. "I'll make breakfast, too, and before noon." Tifa laughed at his joke. She had long since forgotten that breakfast that day came at nearly one o'clock.

"Okay, if you insist." Tifa stood up and walked over to her bedroom. "Goodnight, Cloud. I'll see you in the morning."

"'Night, Tifa." Cloud lay down on the couch as she closed her door.

Tifa began disrobing before turning her bed down. As she set her boots in front of the vanity, she looked into the mirror, gazing at her own eyes. _Am I just imagining things or were his eyes darker than I remember?_

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Cloud awoke early as usual, leaving Tifa to sleep while he took a walk. Defiantly avoiding the train yard, where he encountered Reno the previous day, Cloud walked towards the market. He meandered through the empty streets; thinking about where he might find the girl Shin-Ra was looking for. The thought of turning over a little girl to a group like the Turks still did not sit well with him, but in order to protect Tifa, he would do practically anything.

_Where am I supposed to start looking? I haven't lived here in five years, so how am I expected to find one girl in the millions that live here?_ Cloud walked past an old playground and decided to avoid the market as well. _How can I protect Tifa if the only way to protect her means turning over an innocent girl I can't even find?_ He continued pondering what to do as he walked on.

"Is something on your mind?" A familiar voice called out to Cloud. He looked up to see Aeris standing on the side of the road.

"Aeris, what are you doing here?" Cloud had been sure he would never see her again, yet she stood in front of him that very moment.

"I live near here, so shouldn't it make sense for me to be here?" Aeris looked at Cloud, cocking her head to one side. "So, is something bothering you?"

"Nothing, really." Cloud looked at the pavement, hoping not to be asked any more questions. "I just have had a lot on my mind lately and need to go for a walk."

"Then I'll walk with you." Aeris did not leave room for discussion as she began walking along side him.

She said nothing while they continued on an aimless path. Cloud began to sense the same calm feeling as he had the previous night. _Is there something about me that has changed? Or is there something about her that makes me feel this way?_ No explanation he could come up with made any sense. Although he had changed, the thought of anyone aside from Tifa making him feel comforted was unsettling. Also, Cloud had met Aeris only the prior night. He did not understand how someone so unfamiliar to him could make him feel unconditionally welcomed and cared for.

"Hey Cloud, do you like that girl, Tifa?" Aeris stepped in front of Cloud, bending over to look up into his lowered face.

"What are you talking about? How do you know Tifa?" The forwardness of Aeris's question took him by surprise yet again.

"Her bar is the most popular in Midgar, and her name is on the sign. Besides, you kept looking at her the entire time we were talking." Cloud tried to keep himself from blushing.

"Tifa and I are just old friends. She's just giving me a place to work for a while to earn some money." He knew he should just say he liked Tifa, but something about Aeris made him feel as if it was a dark secret that no one should know about.

"Oh, so you're going to try to hide it, huh? You definitely like her." Aeris stood back up with an accomplished look on her face. Cloud continued looking at the ground as he tried to walk around Aeris.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't try to pry into my nonexistent love life." The fact that Aeris could so easily read him bothered Cloud far more than knowing she knew he liked Tifa. He walked at a faster pace, hoping to put some distance between himself and Aeris.

"Okay, if that's what you want, but could you stop for a moment?" Cloud turned to face Aeris, curious as to why she would ask him to stop. Her eyes were fixed on an abandoned building. "I just wanted to pay my respects, that's all."

Cloud looked at the building, recognizing it immediately through all the overgrowth. It was the site of his last job. His gaze returned to Aeris, watching her bow before the main gate. _Did she know someone who worked here? Did I put the whole place out of business when I killed the owner?_

"It's nothing big, I just knew a lot of the people that worked here. They all lost their jobs when the president died. No one else knew how to run the place as well, so when Shin-Ra came to buy the place, everyone was fired and the facility was shut down." There was sadness in her voice as Aeris explained in detail how everyone tried to move on and find other jobs, but most had to leave Midgar to live elsewhere.

Cloud took a step back, finally understanding the implications of what Aeris was saying. She knew the name of every employee, and even pointed at the area of the building each one worked in. Cloud's curiosity overwhelmed his fear of knowing. "I hope you don't mind me asking, Aeris, but were you related to someone who worked here?"

Aeris beamed with pride as she turned to face him. "As a matter of fact, it was my father who worked here. He was the founder and president of the company."


	4. Impending Fear

Chapter 4

His eyes widened as he began to comprehend Aeris's words. Cloud stepped back as she returned her gaze to the building before them. His mind tried to wrap itself around the thought that the woman standing before him was the same girl he hid from Shin-Ra after killing her father on his last mission. Five years ago he did not want to turn over that innocent little girl. Now, his options included surrendering Aeris or allowing Tifa to suffer because of his actions. Neither seemed acceptable, but Cloud could not think of a reasonable alternative. Taking both of the women and leaving Midgar might keep the three alive for a while, maybe even as long as nature would allow, and they might even live somewhat happily, but making Tifa leave her dream was about as likely as him giving up his sword.

"Hey," Aeris interjected into his thoughts. "What are you thinking about? You haven't been listening to me for a while now." In truth, Aeris had been talking directly to Cloud, trying to get his attention until she ultimately stepped in front of him.

"Oh . . ." Cloud stumbled for words. He did not want to reveal the truth of everything to Aeris. _Wait a moment. Why am I even concerned with her welfare? I sacrificed my way of life to protect her five years ago. I owe her nothing, but I can't seem to ignore her situation. She can't be aware of the danger she's in right now._ "Um, actually I need to get going. I'm running a bit late as it is."

"What are you late for?" Aeris was not moving from in front of Cloud. "Were you supposed to pick up breakfast for your girlfriend?"

Cloud found himself pained at the mention of the word "girlfriend." He had tried to be with women in the past, yet none of them ever made him feel any real emotion. Ultimately, he decided that he would never be with anyone, that no woman would ever know his body in its entirety, especially the only woman who he had dreamt of being with for the past five years. As much as he cared for Tifa, he felt that it was completely unreasonable to assume she would have any semblance of a serious relationship with him if she knew the true reason for his return to Midgar.

"Aeris, I really need to get going." Cloud was now desperate to get away from this woman and return to Tifa's side. "I promised Tifa I would pick up some stuff this morning." He kept avoiding Aeris's gaze, trying to ignore the thoughts in his mind. _Dammit, I don't want to be here. I don't want to have to weigh Aeris's fate against Tifa's._ Cloud started walking towards the market he had passed earlier that morning.

"Cloud, before you go, I have a question." Aeris's words made his feet feel heavier. "Why are you back in Midgar?"

Cloud stopped walking, his heart pounding and eyes wide. "What . . ." Cloud stuttered as he slowly turned to face the young woman. _Did I hear that right? Did she just ask why I was back? Does she remember me? Does she remember what I did? Wait a moment, I mentioned having left Midgar years ago during our conversation last night. She couldn't be remembering me._

"I asked why are you back in Midgar." Aeris's bright green eyes watched him as he fumbled for an answer.

Struggling for a coherent sentence that might somehow double as an answer, Cloud dropped his gaze. "I'm back to see an old friend." _There is no way I can tell her. I can't tell her that Shin-Ra is still after her._ His eyes returned to hers.

"She must be a very dear friend." _That's a relief. She seems to have bought it._ Aeris began walking, holding her hands behind her back. "I have one more question, if that's okay with you." Cloud's heart began to race faster, worried about what might happen in the next few minutes. "I was wondering if you really mean what you say."

His body relaxed. _That's all she's wondering about, just if I actually meant what I said the last night?_ Aeris turned to face him, her hair swinging over her shoulder. "I mean everything I say," he responded.

"That's good. I just wanted to make sure that my father's death had some impact on your life."

Fear took hold of Cloud. He tried to maintain his composure despite being utterly terrified of what Aeris might be thinking at the moment. He took a step back, his eyes still locked with hers. "Your . . . father's death?" Cloud stuttered.

---------------------------------------------

Tifa awoke to find another note on the table. It's contents were the same as the one from yesterday. She laughed to herself as she tossed the note back onto the table. She walked back to her room to finish dressing.

She emerged a few minutes later dressed like usual with her black skirt and white tank top. Looking at herself in the mirror she sighed. _I wonder if he gets tired of seeing this everyday. I sometimes do._ Tifa stepped away from the mirror walking towards the stairs. As she walked down the stairs she heard a fervent knocking on the door. Looking through the door she saw Cloud. _What's going on with him? Why is he banging on the door? And who is that with . . . Aeris?!?!_

Cloud continued to beat on the door with a look of terror on his face. _Hurry up, Tifa. Open the damn door before I have to break it down. _He hit the door one last time before sighing and leaning his head against the door with a thud. With a deep breath, Cloud opened his eyes and stepped back to knock the door down. Pulling his fist back, Cloud prepared for the impact when Tifa opened the door.

"What the hell is your problem, Cloud?" Tifa, both curious and angry about his behavior, stood in the doorway, arms folded, leaning against the doorframe. _He told me that there was nothing going on between them and yet, here they are standing in front of my bar trying to beat the door down._

_We don't have time for this, Tifa. _Cloud stood, looking perturbed. "If you want to know, you need to let us in right now and lock the door behind us." His impatience was growing as Tifa stood, blocking the way.

After a moment Tifa relented. "Okay, get in here." She stopped moving long enough to stare into Cloud's eyes. "But you have a lot of explaining to do." As she cleared the path, Cloud rushed in pulling Aeris behind him rather forcefully.

"Explanations we have time for." Cloud turned and locked the door as soon as Aeris was clear of it. "We don't have much though." The sense of urgency in his actions began to affect Tifa. She was becoming more anxious and checked the door and windows several times as the three rushed up the stairs.

Cloud quickly checked all the windows on the second story. Convinced they were all locked, he looked down the stairs one last time. The stairwell was empty, so Cloud walked over and stood in front of Tifa and Aeris, both sitting on his bed, Tifa's sofa. He took a deep breath and sighed.

"We have a big problem." Tifa looked at Aeris with a puzzled look. She could not figure out what this strange woman was doing with Cloud in her living room. "The Turks are after us." Cloud paused for both dramatic effect and for his own sanity. _What the hell am I doing? I'm dragging both of them into what should be my fight and mine alone._

Tifa sputtered. "The Turks? What do they have to do with this?" She could not believe her ears. _I've heard some strange things since Cloud came back, but this one tops them all. Why would the most feared group want anything to do with us?_

"They're after me," Cloud responded.

"What do you mean 'they're after me'? I thought all of that was settled five years ago." Aeris had not been informed of Cloud's conversation with Reno the day before. _Wasn't it enough that they killed my father?_

"Five years ago?" Tifa interjected. "Okay, everyone back up. Cloud what the hell is going on? Why are the Turks after us, I mean Aeris? What is the deal with five years ago and how did I get wrapped up in this?"

"I'd like to know that, too," Aeris chimed in. "Why are the Turks after me? I know that my father's company was a threat to Shin-Ra, but how do I fit in?" Time passed with the young women staring at Cloud.

_How the hell do I talk my way out of this one? I don't want Tifa to know I killed Aeris's father, and I don't want them to know that in half a week we're all going to be running from the slaughter. _He stood thinking for a moment before responding. "Five years ago I was hired to kill a certain man. I'm not proud of it but I carried out the mission." A look of disbelief came over Tifa's face. A look of understanding came over Aeris's. "Shin-Ra is in trouble because their takeover of that man's company happened right after his death and a lot of suspicion is starting to go around. I am the only living tie to that conspiracy so they are threatening my life."

Tifa spoke up, "Cloud, this is all staring to scare me but . . ." she faltered for a moment. "Are you sure that you aren't just making this up? I mean, why would Shin-Ra need to kill you for something that happened five years ago? They control pretty much everything here in Midgar, so couldn't they squash any rumor like that?"

Cloud began to see the holes in his story. He had to recover somehow. _Dammit, I need to think of something. This just isn't working. _"Well, I don't know about covering it up, but the threat they made against me . . . let's just say it got my attention, in a really big way." He scrambled to check the windows again.

"Cloud . . ." Aeris spoke up after a brief period of silence. A look of concern caught his attention. "If they are after you, why did you drag me here? Why did you drag the two of us into this? I mean I only met you a few days ago."

_Thank you, Aeris for not bringing up your father, but God damn, why did you have to ask that question?_ Cloud fumbled for a response as he checked the stairwell again. Tifa stood and walked over to him.

"Cloud, stop this. You are really freaking me out." He stopped running around checking windows. "Please, just calm down and look at me." She placed her hand on his shoulder. He slowly turned, his head hung so as to avoid eye contact. "Just look at me, please." Her other hand gently brushed his chin, hoping to raise his eyes to meet hers.

Aeris had stood up and walked up next to Tifa. "Please, Cloud. Tell us what has you so bothered." _I can tell you don't want Tifa to know the truth about our past, but what is happening in the present? What has happened that has made you so antsy? Even when you found me a foster mother five years ago, you weren't this upset._ She rested her hand on Cloud's bicep.

He raised his head only to be met with a look of horror on both the young women's faces. Tifa openly gasped and pulled her hand back from his chin. _His eyes . . . they are so . . . dark. What ever happened to his crystal blue eyes? Why are they almost black?_

"Cloud . . ." both of the women spoke. After another moment of silence Tifa continued. "What is going on with you? Are you okay?" _What is going on with your eyes? Please, just say something. _She continued to gaze into his near pitch black eyes.

_My eyes. My freaking eyes. They're giving me away again._ Cloud tried to pull away and hide his face but the hands on his shoulder and bicep prevented it. "Look, we're all in a lot of trouble. We don't have time to stand around." _Please stop looking at my eyes. Please just leave them alone._

Aeris interjected with the one statement that Cloud dreaded most. "We have enough for you to tell us what is going on with your eyes." Tifa looked wide-eyed at her female companion. Tifa had wanted to know what was going on with them but didn't want to single Cloud out in front of Aeris.

"Aeris!" Tifa finally managed to blurt out her disbelief. "What are you . . ." she couldn't quite finish the thought. _There's probably a good reason for it and he would have told us if he wanted to. Why are you bringing it up? Can't you see he doesn't want to talk about it? I want to know too, but . . . this isn't the time or place._ Tifa eventually turned her attention to Cloud, and despite her own thoughts about the appropriate time and place, was very curious at the moment to know why his eyes had changed.

With his eyes lowered, Cloud managed to get a few words out. "I'd rather we just get on the move before the Turks find us." This time, rather than pulling away, he pushed his way forward, separating the two women causing them to release their respective grips on his body. Walking to the corner of the room he extended his hand for the Buster Sword. _Please forgive me, Tifa. I know I said I would try to leave the sword alone, but I just can't anymore. This is the only way I know to protect you._ His hand clasped the hilt, pausing for a moment. He stood there, waiting. For what, he did not know. Maybe he was waiting on some affirmation from Tifa, or maybe it was out of fear. Regardless, the answer he received was not from Tifa, nor his own heart. The answer he heard was a knock on the bar door followed by loud obscenities.

"When are you gonna fucking open the damn bar? It's already three and I'm not drunk yet!" Cloud's answer came from none other than Cid. "Whatever the fucking hell you're doing in there had better involve lots of booze and a couple of orgasm!"

Tifa bolted down the stairs for the door, a look of exasperation on her face. "I'm coming, just don't break the door down like last week," she called out to the belligerent, sober man. Cloud relaxed his hand muttering to himself.

"How could I think of doing this to her? What kind of person am I?" He leaned against the armrest of the couch, exhausted from his efforts to rationalize pulling Tifa and Aeris away from everything they had. The two young women had been caught up in Cloud's anxiety about escaping from his past. _I know they won't let this go. Trying to make them drop everything and run, what am I thinking?_ Sitting down on the couch, he exhaled, trying to calm his adrenaline filled body.

He felt the cushions shift as Aeris sat down. "So what are you going to do?" Cloud looked at her with a confused look. "Are you going to take us away from here? Are you going to turn me over? Are you going to try to protect the both of us?" Cloud stammered an inaudible response. "I'm not dense, Cloud. I know you care for Tifa, and you haven't seen me in five years. You don't even know me. You murdered my father. That should be reason enough for me to hate you, but you hid me from them. You protected me from Shin-Ra by lying to them, risking your life and reputation. I know you haven't lived well the past five years, they've been hunting you down." Cloud's confusion had changed to surprise.

"How did you know? No one would have told you what was happening to me." He could not believe that the woman on his right knew he had been running for his life.

Aeris smiled at Cloud's confused look. _He confuses so easily. I guess he really is a naïve little boy in the big picture._ "I had a friend of my look up some information on you in the Shin-Ra intelligence database. Jessie is really good with that kind of stuff. Anyway, here is the real question — when are you going to tell Tifa? When are you going to tell her that you aren't strong enough to protect her?"

Anger filled Cloud's face as Aeris stood up and walked towards the stairs? "What the hell do you mean, saying I'm not strong enough to protect Tifa?" Aeris stopped, and smiled. After a moment she turned to face him.

"Whether you are or aren't is not up to you, me, or Tifa. It's up to the men who will come to kill the three of us. You aren't sure of you own strength, or rather, how strong you are when you don't want to kill. You need to decide how far you will go to protect us, actually, how far you will go to protect Tifa." Cloud felt the anger drain from his body, knowing she spoke the uncensored truth. "I'm going to help Tifa with the bar tonight. I suggest you do too; otherwise she'll worry about you, the situation, and your eyes. Have an answer for us next time."

Cloud watched her walk down the stairs. Beyond Aeris, he heard Tifa calling. "Hurry up, Cloud! I can't do all of this myself, you know." He rose from the couch, shook his head vigorously, and headed to the storeroom.

---------------------------------------------

Try as he might, Cloud could not push the nagging thoughts from his mind. He tried throwing himself into any job Tifa asked of him: busing tables, moving stock, taking out the trash. The entire night he kept his head down, almost sulking.

Every time that Tifa stopped to watch him, Cloud looked more frustrated. She did not know what needed to be said, what he needed to hear, or what she was hoping him to say. The night passed uneventful, in the bar and between Cloud and Tifa. After last call, Aeris began helping Tifa clean up as Cloud began the nightly inventory.   
Tifa called out to Aeris. "Aeris, could you put the chairs up?" Aeris looked up from wiping down the last table.

"Sure, just let me finish up here."

"Once you're finished you can borrow the shower if you'd like."

Aeris smiled gratitude and turned to place the chairs on the tables. Cloud entered the bar from the storeroom. His eyes averted, he spoke. "Tifa, I filled out the inventory sheets. If there's nothing else, I'm going to head upstairs and go to sleep." Aeris looked over.

"Tell you what, Cloud, Tifa and I will finish up down here. You go ahead and shower. I'll wait until you finish to use it myself." Tifa nodded in agreement.

"You've done enough tonight, go on," Tifa said jerking her head in the direction of the stairs.

Without a word, Cloud walked upstairs. Tifa and Aeris turned to look at each other. Aeris leaned back against the wall sighing a bit. Moments later, the women heard the water turn on in the bathroom.

"So what do we do, Tifa?" Aeris gazed at Tifa awaiting a reply. "Cloud is hiding something, and I'm guessing it directly affects both of us in a big way so, what do we do?" Tifa leaned back in the chair before replying.

_What are we going to do, huh? I don't know myself._ She returned Aeris' gaze. "I'm worried about him more than I am about what he's hiding. I want to know what's going on yes, but I'm not sure we should force him." _That's a bold-faced lie if I ever said one._

"Tifa, I can understand what you're saying, but if it's bothering him this much, maybe we need to intervene. Now, I haven't known Cloud for long, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say, that for something to bother him at all, it is probably pretty serious." Aeris began walking over to the bar where Tifa sat.

Tifa recalled the conversation from earlier. _Hold on a moment, Aeris said something about five years ago._ "Before any of that, I need you to explain something to me." Aeris sighed. "How do you know Cloud, and what really happened five years ago?"

Taking a seat across from Tifa, Aeris began. "I know him from five years ago because I was involved with a job of his." Tifa looked stunned. "He saved my life, but after five years he didn't recognize me. I am guessing that the Turks are after him because of something from that job. All I know is that after he helped me, Cloud left town, and in a hurry. You'll have to ask him if you want to know anything more." _It really should be up to him to explain what happened back then. He is the one that has to accept what happened._

Leaning forward to rest her elbows on the bar, Tifa mulled over Aeris' words. _His last job from five years ago, him leaving town, him saving Aeris' life, him coming back, her being here, all of these have to fit together somehow. And the Turks, how do they fit in? _A few minutes elapsed, Aeris watching Tifa, Tifa staring off into nothing. "You really know nothing else?" Aeris shook her head, remembering how she decided Cloud should tell her. "Then we're going to talk to him tonight." At that moment the shower upstairs turned off and the water finished draining. "Better yet, now is as good a time as any."

Tifa locked up the money and the women made their way up the stairs. They exited the stairwell, starting across the room towards the kitchen when they heard a click. Turning to see the source of the noise, the women grew wide-eyed with mouths opening.

---------------------------------------------

Outside of the bar, a man watched. He knew that very little time remained before the inevitable would come to pass. Time had started moving, and he could not stand by as everything began to fall into darkness.


End file.
